By Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda
If you want to get rid of your enemies you should first kill your anger which is the greatest enemy within you.
On the other hand if you are going to be perturbed hearing from your enemies, it means you are fulfilling the wishes of your enemies by unknowingly entering into their trap.
You should not think that you can only learn something from only those who praise and help you and associate with you very closely. There are many things that you could learn from your enemies also; you should not think they are entirely wrong just because they happen to be your enemies. They may also possess certain good qualities.
You won’t be able to get rid of your enemies by returning evil for evil. If you do that then you will be inviting only more enemies. The best and the most correct method of overcoming your enemies is* by radiating your kindness towards them. You may think that this is impossible or something nonsensical. But this method is very highly appreciated by every cultured man. When you come to know that there is someone who is very angry with you, you should first try to find out the main cause of that enmity; if it is due to you mistake you should admit it and should not hesitate to apologise to him. If it is due to certain isunderstandings between you both you must have a heart to heart talk with him and try to enlighten him.
If it is due to jealousy or some other emotional feeling you must try to radiate your loving kindness towards him so that you will be able to influence him through your mental waves. You may not be able to understand how it works but through the experience of many people it shows that this is the most powerful, intelligent and easiest method which is very highly recommended in the Buddhist religion. Of course, to do this, you must have confidence and patience in yourself. By doing this you will be able to make your enemy understand that he is in the wrong; besides you are also benefited in various ways for not accommodating enmity in your heart.