But often it is a seemingly irresolvable relationship that teaches us the most, once we’re willing to be vulnerable and honest, once we’re willing to connect with what Chogyam Trungpa called “the genuine heart of sadness.” As warriors in training we do our best to hold the person in our heart without any hypocrisy. One thing we can do with a difficult relationship is to place a picture of the person somewhere we will see it often and think, “I wish for your deepest well-being”. Or we can write down the person’s name, along with the aspiration that they may be safe, may be happy, may live in peace. Regardless of what specific action we take, our aspiration is to benefit the other person and wish them well. ~ Pema Chödron

Equanimity is often taught as a complement to the practices of lovingkindness and compassion because it’s understood in Buddhist psychology that if we only practice lovingkindness and compassion, we can mistakenly get attached to the way we think things are supposed to be. We then might grasp and struggle with the world rather than serving it. Meditation can help us be steady and balanced in the midst of constant change. — Jack Kornfield

In the stress and complexity of our lives, we may forget our deepest intentions. But when people come to the end of their life and look back, the questions that they most often ask are not usually, “How much is in my bank account?” or “How many books did I write?” or “What did I build?” or the like. If you have the privilege of being with a person who is aware at the time of his or her death, you find the questions such a person asks are very simple: “Did I love well?” “Did I live fully?” “Did I learn to let go?”

These simple questions go to the very center of spiritual life. When we consider loving well and living fully, we can see the ways our attachments and fears have limited us, and we can see the many opportunities for our hearts to open. Have we let ourselves love the people around us, our family, our community, the earth upon which we live? And, did we also learn to let go? Did we learn to live through the changes of life with grace, wisdom, and compassion? Have we learned to forgive and live from the spirit of the heart instead of the spirit of judgment?

Letting go is a central theme in spiritual practice, as we see the preciousness and brevity of life. When letting go is called for, if we have not learned to do so, we suffer greatly, and when we get to the end of our life, we may have what is called a crash course. Sooner or later we have to learn to let go and allow the changing mystery of life to move through us without our fearing it, without holding and grasping. —Jack Kornfield