by Venenable K. Sri Dhammananda

Fear and worry are born of the imaginings of a mind that is influenced by wordly conditions. They are rooted in craving and attachment. In fact, life is like a motion picture in which everything is constantly moving and changing. Nothing in this world is permanent or still. Those who are youthful and strong have fear of dying young. Those who are old and suffering worry about living too long. Locked in between are those who craze for merriment all the year round.

Joyful expectations of the pleasant seem to pass off too quickly. Fearful expectations of the unpleasant create anxieties that do not seem to go away. Such feelings are natural. Such up and downs of life play with an illusionary self or ego like puppets on a string. But the mind is supreme unto itself.

The training of the mind, otherwise known as mental culture, is the first step towards taming mental unrest. The Buddha has explained:

“From craving springs grief,
from craving springs fear
For him who is wholly free from craving,
there is no grief, much less fear”.

All attachments will end in sorrow. Neither tears nor long goodbyes can end the transitoriness of life. All compounded things are impermanent.

Old and young suffer in this existence. No one is exempted. Many teenagers have growing pains. Being neither frogs nor tadpoles, teenagers are understandably inexperienced at building stable relationships with members of the opposite sex. They try to show off their beauty in trying to impress their opposite sex who are flattered to see themselves as sex objects. Both try to behave not as they really are but as what they think is adult. They are afraid that if they behave naturally they will be laughed at. Beheviour like this has the potential for exploitation. There is fear of rejection as well as worry about deflated egos. Unrequited love will often “break” many teenagers hearts because they feel they have made “fools of themselves”. Some are driven to commit suicide. But such traumas could be avoided if life is seen as it really is. Young people must be taught the Buddhist approach to life, so that they can grow into maturity the correct way.

‘Wheresoever fear arises, it arises in the fool, not in the wise men’. says the Buddha. Fear is nothing more than a state of mind. One’s state of mind is subject to control and direction; the negative thought produces fear, the positive use realizes hopes and ideals. The choice rests entirely with ourselves. Every human being has the ability to control his own mind. Nature has endowed man with absolute control over one thing, and that is thought. Everything a man creates begins in the form of a thought. Here is the key to help one understand the principle by which fear may be mastered.

 

Source: www.dhammatalks.net

by Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda

No one can live in this world without being blamed and criticised by others. Buddha says:

“People blame others for their silence. They blame those who talk much and those in moderation. There is therefore no one in this world who is not blamed.” Further He says: “There never was, nor will be, nor is there now any one who is wholly blamed or wholly praised.” Not all those who criticise you are your enemies. You can make use of the opportunity to find out your own weaknesses which you yourself cannot see.

You should not give up good work just because of criticism. If you have the courage to carry out your good work is spite of criticisms, you are indeed a great man and could succeed everywhere.

by Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda

“We live and work and dream,
Each has his little scheme,
Sometimes we laugh;
Sometimes we cry;
And thus the days go by.”

“If you want to live in this world peacefully and happily, allow others also to live peacefully and happily, so that you can make this world something which is worthy of life.” Unless and until you adjust yourself to live according to these noble principles you cannot expect happiness and peace in this world. You cannot expect this happiness and peace from heaven simply by praying. If you act according to moral principles you can create your own heaven right here in this world. If not you also can see the hell-fire on this earth itself. Not knowing how to live according to this natural and cosmic law, we always grumble when troubles confront us. If each man tries to adjust himself without grumbling and criticising others we can enjoy real heavenly bliss better than the one that some people dream of existing in far beyond above. There is no need to create a heaven elsewhere to reward a virtue, or a hell to punish vice; virtue and evil have inevitable reactions in this world itself. Your faith is immaterial in this respect. This is the highest way that you can help in the welfare of your society and your country. Today, human society has developed up to this level because of this understanding and harmony of some people who have sympathy and tolerance towards the happiness and progress of others. Now you can realise why we should practice morality. On the other hand, you must understand that by helping others morally, you help yourself and by helping yourself morally you help others also.

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by Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda

 Problems

Almost everyday we hear people complaining about their marriages. Very seldom do we hear stories about a happy marriage. Young people reading romantic novels and seeing romantic films often conclude that marriage is a bed of roses. Unfortunately, marriage is not as sweet as one thinks. Marriage and problems are interrelated and people must remember that when they are getting married, they will have to face problems and responsibilities that they had never expected or experienced hitherto.

People often think that it is a duty to get married and that marriage is a very important event in their lives. However, in order to ensure a successful marriage, a couple has to harmonize their lives by minimizing whatever differences they may have between them. Marital problems prompted a cynic to say that there can only be a peaceful married life if the marriage is between a blind wife and a deaf husband, for the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and a deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his wife.

Sharing and Trust

One of the major causes of marital problems is suspicion and mistrust. Marriage is a blessing but many people make it a curse due to lack of understanding.

Both husband and wife should show implicit trust for one another and try not to have secrets between them. Secrets create suspicion, suspicion leads to jealously, jealousy generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation, suicide or even murder.

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by Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda

“Life is uncertain – Death is certain” This is a well known saying in Buddhism. Knowing very well that death is certain and it is a natural phenomenon that everyone has to face, we should not be afraid of death. Yet, instinctively, all of us fear death because we do not know how to think of its inevitability. We like to cling to our life and body and so develop too much craving and attachment.

A child comes into this world bringing joy and happiness unto all near and dear ones. Even the mother who had to bear extreme labour pains is pleased and delighted to behold her newborn child. She feels that all the trouble and pain borne by her ere well worth it. However, by crying, the child seems to suggest it too has its share of suffering for coming into this world. The child grows into and adolescent and later into an adult, performing all sorts of good and bad deeds. He eventually grows old and finally bids farewell to this sorrow. Such is the nature of existence of a human being. People try to evade and escape from the clutches of death but no one is able to do so. At the moment of death, they have their minds hovering over their hoard of acquired wealth, unduly worrying about their dear children surrounding them. Last but not least, they keep evincing much concern over their own precious bodies, which despite the tender care and attention, lavished by them are now worn out, decaying and exhausted. It grieves one’s heart to separate oneself from the body. It is the way most people take leave in this world – with moans and groans. The pangs of death are considered dreadful, an attitude fed by ignorance.

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By Ven. Dr. K Sri Dhammananda

The word ‘love’ is used to cover a very wide range of emotions human beings experience. Emphasis on the base animal lust of one sex for another has much debased the concept of a feeling of amity towards another being. According to Buddhism, there are many types of emotions, all of which come under the general term ‘love’ First of all, there is selfish love and there is selfless love. One has selfish love when one is concerned only with the satisfaction to be derived for oneself without any consideration for the partner’s needs or feelings. Jealousy is usually a symptom of selfish love. Selfless love, on the other hand, is felt when one person surrenders his whole being for the good of another _parents feel such love for their children. Usually human beings feel a mixture of both selfless and selfish love in their relationships with each other. For example, while parents make enormous sacrifices for their children, they usually expect something in return.

Another kind of love, but closely related to the above, is brotherly love or the love between friends. In a sense, this kind of love can also be considered selfish because the love is limited to particular people and does not encompass others. In another category we have sexual love, where partners are drawn towards each other through physical attraction. It is the kind that is most exploited by modern entertainment and it can cover anything from uncomplicated teenage infatuations to the most complex of relationships between adults.

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Ratana Sutta: The Jewel Discourse

1. “Whatever beings (non-humans) are assembled here, terrestrial or celestial, may they all have peace of mind, and may they listen attentively to these words:

2. “O beings, listen closely. May you all radiate loving-kindness to those human beings who, by day and night, bring offerings to you (offer merit to you). Wherefore, protect them with diligence.

3. “Whatever treasure there be either here or in the world beyond, whatever precious jewel there be in the heavenly worlds, there is nought comparable to the Tathagata (the perfect One). This precious jewel is the Buddha.[2] By this (asseveration of the) truth may there be happiness.

4. “That Cessation, that Detachment, that Deathlessness (Nibbana) supreme, the calm and collected Sakyan Sage (the Buddha) had realized. There is nought comparable to this (Nibbana) Dhamma. This precious jewel is the Dhamma.[3] By this (asseveration of the) truth may there be happiness.
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Loving-kindness meditation can be brought in to support the practice of insight meditation to help keep the mind open and sweet. It provides the essential balance to support Insight meditation practice.

It is a fact of life that many people are troubled by difficult emotional states in the pressured societies we live in, but do little in terms of developing skills to deal with them. Yet even when the mind goes sour it is within most people’s capacity to arouse positive feelings to sweeten it. Loving-kindness is a meditation practice taught by the Buddha to develop the mental habit of selfless or altruistic love. In the Dhammapada can be found the saying: “Hatred cannot coexist with loving-kindness, and dissipates if supplanted with thoughts based on loving-kindness.”

Loving-kindness is a meditation practice, which brings about positive attitudinal changes as it systematically develops the quality of ‘loving-acceptance’. It acts, as it were, as a form of self-psychotherapy, a way of healing the troubled mind to free it from its pain and confusion. Of all Buddhist meditations, loving-kindness has the immediate benefit of sweetening and changing old habituated negative patterns of mind.

To put it into its context, Loving-kindness is the first of a series of meditations that produce four qualities of love: Friendliness (metta), Compassion (karuna), Appreciative Joy (mudita) and Equanimity (upekkha). The quality of ‘friendliness’ is expressed as warmth that reaches out and embraces others. When loving-kindness practice matures it naturally overflows into compassion, as one empathises with other people’s difficulties; on the other hand one needs to be wary of pity, as its near enemy, as it merely mimics the quality of concern without empathy. The positive expression of empathy is an appreciation of other people’s good qualities or good fortune, or appreciative joy, rather than feelings of jealousy towards them. This series of meditations comes to maturity as ‘on-looking equanimity’. This ‘engaged equanimity’ must be cultivated within the context of this series of meditations, or there is a risk of it manifesting as its near enemy, indifference or aloofness. So, ultimately you remain kindly disposed and caring toward everybody with an equal spread of loving feelings and acceptance in all situations and relationships.

~by Ven. Pannyavaro
Source: http://www.buddhanet.net/

First of all, why should we think about death? Why should we contemplate it? Not only did the Buddha encourage us to speak about death, he encouraged us to actually think about it, contemplate it and reflect on it regularly.

On one occasion the Buddha asked several of the monks, “How often do you contemplate death?”

One of them replied, “Lord, I contemplate death every day.”

“Not good enough,” the Buddha said, and asked another monk, who replied,

“Lord, I contemplate death with each mouthful that I eat during the meal.”

“Better, but not good enough,” said the Buddha, “What about you?”

The third monk said, “Lord, I contemplate death with each inhalation and each exhalation.”

That’s all it takes, the inhalation comes in, it goes out, and one day it won’t come in again – and that’s it. That’s all there is between you and death, just that inhalation, the next inhalation. Continue reading →