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When I was a child, I was told many times, “Be patient” or “Patience is a virtue.” I would relate to these words in much the same way I would to the order “Eat your spinach.” To me, “Be patient” meant “Grin and bear it,” or that I should repress my feelings about the disagreeable aspects of life. This is not what is meant by patience from the Buddhist perspective, however.
Patience, or khanti, is the sixth of the ten perfections, or paramis (the virtues that one has to perfect in order to fully awaken; there are ten paramis in the Theravada tradition, six paramitas in the Mahayana). The clarity of wisdom and the softness of compassion are the companions of each of the perfections. Patience is motivated by our desire for inward and outward peace and by faith in our ability to accept things as they are. In Buddhism patience has three essential aspects: gentle forbearance, calm endurance of hardship, and acceptance of the truth.
The first aspect of patience is gentle forbearance. We may be the exhausted parent of a child who is having a fit over some baffling homework; perhaps patience in this case means taking a few deep breaths instead of yelling in frustration. Or we may be on the verge of making a brilliant retort to a coworker, but we hold our tongue rather than say something hurtful. Even though our impatience is triggered, we can tap into the deeper reservoir of our motivation not to do harm. Gentle forbearance may feel difficult—even contrived—because it doesn’t constitute true acceptance of how things are. But it is nonetheless a critical aspect of patience because it helps us restrain ourselves long enough to determine the most skillful action for the moment.
Gentle forbearance helps to anchor our attention in the movement of the breath. Can we truly receive just one breath? Can we sustain the attention from the birth of the breath, through its life, and through its passing away? We notice that in these moments of attention we are temporarily freed from mental torment. There is no need to focus on our expectations or attachment to results. Impatient thoughts come and go by themselves, just as the breath comes and goes by itself.
Any time we want life to be different than it is, we are caught in impatience. We lose our sense of humor; and self-pity, despair, and blame seep into the heart. Gentle forbearance includes the spirit of forgiveness. When we feel conflict with others, understanding their suffering is the first step in being able to communicate, forgive, and begin again. The practice of forgiveness happens when we are able to realize the underlying cause of our anger and impatience, and this allows us to distinguish between someone’s unskillful behavior and essential goodness. Serenity and calm develop as we learn to accept imperfection in others and ourselves.
By Michele McDonald
Source: http://www.tricycle.com
Spirituality tells the seeker not to live in the hoary past,
not to live in the remote future,
but to live in the immediacy of today,
in the eternal Now.
~Sri Chinmoy
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Worries and miseries are twin evils that go hand in hand. They co-exist in this world. If you feel worried, you are miserable! If you are miserable, you are worried. We must face facts. Although we cannot run away from them, we must not let these twin evils of worry and misery overcome us. We must overcome them. We can do so by our own human efforts, correctly directed with determination and patience. With proper understanding and carefully applied intelligence, we should be able to subdue our emotional feelings and do away with worries and miseries. ~By Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda
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Are you worried? Are you miserable? If so, you are invited to read this booklet. The theme of this booklet is dedicated to you and to those who worry themselves unduly – even unto death!
Worries and miseries are twin evils that go hand in hand. They co-exist in this world. If you feel worried, you are miserable! If you are miserable, you are worried. We must face facts. Although we cannot run away from them, we must not let these twin evils of worry and misery overcome us. We must overcome them. We can do so by our own human efforts, correctly directed with determination and patience. With proper understanding and carefully applied intelligence, we should be able to subdue our emotional feelings and do away with worries and miseries.
Our worries are of our own making. We create them in our own minds, through our inability or failure to understand the danger of our egoistic feelings and our inflated and false values of things. If only we could see things in their proper perspective in that nothing is permanent in this world and that our own egoistic self is our wild imagination running riot in our untrained mind, we should be going a long way to finding the remedy to eradicate our worries and miseries. We must cultivate our minds and hearts to forget about self and to be of service and use to humanity. This is one of the means whereby we can find real peace and happiness.
Many people have longings and hankering, fear and anxieties which they have not learnt to sublimate and are ashamed to admit them even to themselves. But these unwholesome emotions have force. No matter how we may try to bottle them up they seek a release by disordering the physical machinery resulting in chronic illnesses. All these can be repelled by correct methods of meditation or mental culture, because the untrained mind is the main cause of such worries.
Whenever you have worries in your mind, don’t show your sulky face to each and every person you come across. You should reveal your worries only to those who really can help you. How nice it would be if you could maintain your smiling face in spite of all the difficulties confronting you. This is not very difficult if only you really try. Many teenagers worry too much when their friendship with the opposite sex is lost. They often plan even to commit suicide compelled by the plight of frustration and disappointment. Some find place in lunatic asylums. Many such broken-hearted youths lead miserable lives. All these unfortunate events happen due to a lack of understanding the real nature of life. Somehow or other departure or separation is unavoidable. This may happen sometimes at the beginning of a life career; sometimes in the middle and sometimes at the end; it is certainly unavoidable. When such things happen one must try to find out where the cause lies. However, if the separation is beyond control one must have the courage to bear it out by realising the nature of life. But on the other hand it is not difficult for anyone to find new friends, to fill the vacuum if one really wants to.
“Wheresoever fear arises, it arises in the fool, not in the wise man” says the Buddha. Fears are nothing more than states of mind. One’s state of mind is subject to control and direction; the negative use of thoughts produces out fears; the positive use realises our hopes and ideals, and in these cases the choice rests entirely with ourselves. Every human being has the ability to completely control his own mind. Nature has endowed man with absolute control over but one thing, and that is thought. This fact, coupled with the additional fact that everything which man creates begins in the form of a thought, leads one very near to the principle by which fear may be mastered.
A noted British anatomist was once asked by a student what was the best cure for fear, and he answered, “Try doing something for someone”.
The student was considerably astonished by the reply, and requested further enlightenment whereupon his instructor said, “You can’t have two opposing sets of thoughts in your mind at one and the same time”. One set of thoughts will always drive the other out. If, for instance, your mind is completely occupied with an unselfish desire to help someone else, you can’t be harbouring fear at the same time.
“Worry dries up the blood sooner than the age.” Fears, worries and anxieties in moderation are natural instincts of self-preservation. But constant fear and prolonged worry are unfailing enemies to the human organism. They derange the normal bodily functions.
If you have learned how to please others, you always will be in a good mood. This is because your mind does not allow worries to be accommodated in it.
~By Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda
Source: http://www.chuadieuphap.us
© Mrs Creeves
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The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolates. It is focused attention. ~Rick Warren
Photo source: http://kethadros.net
I don’t possess a GPS,
Smart-phone or MP3;
I’m just a simple modern man
with little love for technology.
Would rather sit and watch a sunset
than share a link to one on-line;
Prefer to discuss my deepest thoughts
with friends who are truly mine.
I’ve no need to be connected
except to God and you;
I’m just a simple modern man
trying to be true.
Would rather delve your diamond eyes,
upon your fair face look;
Than dig for truth beneath the lies
signed into “my” FaceBook.
I’ve never been to a nightclub
where the word of God gets heard;
I’m just a simple modern man
whose vision isn’t blurred.
Would rather write a sonnet sweet,
profess undying love to you;
Prefer to prove that I’m your man
in all the things I do.
I don’t want to live my life
In pursuit of technology;
I’m just a simple modern man
with little use for gadgetry.
Would rather build a house for you,
hold your hand in mine;
protect you and provide for you
until the end of time…
Author Notes
For Kate…
© Mat Larkin. All rights reserved
