Your man loves you – and doesn’t want to hear certain things from you.

To keep your relationship healthy and happy, stay away from the following phrases. Here are ten things women should never say to their men:

1. “Man up.” This emasculating phrase is never, ever appropriate. He is a man. If he’s not meeting your expectations, learn to communicate this clearly and without insult.

2. “We need to talk.” Yes, you should talk to your man. No, you should not warn him that you need to talk about something yet-to-be-described that will likely be uncomfortable. This phrase is the most likely to shift him into defensive mode. Try a more loving approach and you will surely get better results.

3. “Size doesn’t matter.” If size doesn’t matter, don’t talk about size.

4. “Is she prettier than me?” Related: “Do I look fat in this?” If the question you’re asking him has only one acceptable answer – and if a too-long pause in responding will only feed your insecurities – just trust that his answer would have been the right one and don’t bother to ask it.
5. “You’re just like my ex.” Worse: “I’ve had better.” You don’t want to be compared to his exes, so don’t compare him to yours. Even if he comes out on top, it’s still an awkward comparison.

6. “Are you really that stupid?” Be careful not to use language that emasculates and belittles your guy. Treat him with respect, even when you’re angry or disappointed.

7. “Never mind. I’ll do it myself.” Don’t dismiss the offers of help from your man. A common love language is acts of service. Don’t deny him the opportunity to serve you. Sometimes it’s nice to feel needed.

8. “I can’t live without you.” Use desperate language with caution, and stay clear of phrases that sound clingy in early stages of the relationship. Let him take the lead when it comes to commitment and promises of a future together.

9. “I’m not your mother.” Worse: “I’m just like my mother.” Keep your mom(s) out of it, unless you’re actually talking about patterns learned from your respective families of origin.

10. “Nothing’s wrong.” Yes, it is. He can’t read your mind. If something’s wrong, tell him what’s wrong.

What phrase would you like to banish from the lips of your beloved?

By eHarmony Staff